Thinkerfromiowa's Blog

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Fair Weather Friends

Fair Weather Friends

Hello, everyone.

This is the holiday Season – the time when we celebrate Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and possibly some others that I am not aware of.  We think about our friends and loved ones and treasure our memories of our past holiday seasons.

Mark Twain, a very funny man and a very wise man as well, once said that there were three kinds of lies:  lies, damned lies, and statistics.  Statistics are lies when our opponents use them to shoot down our arguments.  And we all know what “lies and damned lies” are.

I believe that there are three kinds of friends as well, and I want to elaborate on that idea at this time.

The first kind of friend is the friend who is there when the sky is blue and the sun is shining.  They are there to share the good times and fun with you.  But when the sky clouds up and the sun no longer shines, they make themselves scarce pretty darned quick.

The second kind of friend is the friend who likes you as long as you buy into his bill of goods.  As long as you believe his ideas – the earth being flat, the Bible being absolute truth, and the perpetual sinlessness of the Negro race, for example – he will be your best friend.  But once you challenge any of his ideas and no longer believe as he does, he will be gone very quickly as well.

The third kind of a friend is the forever friend.  This friend not only knows all of your faults and quirks, he accepts them and you and is loyal to the death.

Now, if I may, I am going to apply these thoughts to my personal life.  I will not name names in discussing the first two kinds because these people do not deserve honor or mention.

I discovered the “sunshine friends” when my two wives died.  After my first wife died, I tried to maintain a friendship with one person who I thought was a true friend.  However, this woman had other ideas and threatened to report me to the police if I continued to try to contact her.  She was a rabid Evangelical Christian, so I attributed her behavior to her Christian nuttiness.

I had a second friend whom I had adopted as a little sister.  I did maintain this relationship until well into my second marriage.  Our relationship had its ups and downs; one year, when she asked me to come over for Christmas, she threatened to kill me if I tried to kiss her under the mistletoe.  However, she did change her attitude some time later, and she became a type-three friend.

When my second wife died, I again went through the loss of friends, only this time it was her family.  With Carol gone, I essentially did not amount to anything.  Those people were “sunshine friends” of the first order.

Last September, I took a month-long trip on Amtrak, except for a week or so I spent with a cousin in Texas.  During that trip, I saw and experienced much, and my thinking along certain lines changed.  As a result, I essentially lost a Facebook friendship with someone I had known for over 40 years.

I have not had very many of these “my way or the highway” friends because I avoid these friendships like the plague.  But what such friends I have had were Evangelical Christians or political liberals.  Mainline Christians and conservatives have been decent friends, in that I did not have to believe the same way they did in order to be their friend.

And then there are those loyal friends who are there for you through thick and thin and in between.  When I lost my Ginny – my first wife – I had four such friends whom I referred to as my “Four Catholic Champions.”  I referred to them as such because they were indeed practicing or lapsed Catholics, and also to distinguish them from the Evangelical Protestants who had abandoned me.  I actually took two of them out and had a wonderful evening each time we were together.  I was able to work through losing Ginny because they were comfortable with my calling them and just talking to them.  They took the time to listen.

When Carol and I lived in California, our best friends were Bruce and Barbara Boyles.  When we left and came to Colorado, that friendship continued.  After they moved to Boise, Idaho, that friendship still continued, and continues to this day, 25 years later.

I have two cousins whom I consider to be among my closest friends today.  Jimmy, Nikki, and I were very close when we were kids.  Indeed, Jimmy and I were essentially “Pete and Repeat.”  We never lost that closeness as we grew older, although we never were in real close touch.  Those two kids saw me at my best and worst, and yet they still chose to be good friends.

Back 50 years ago, the Beatles had a hit record with “Money Can’t Buy Me Love.”  Money CAN’T buy a person love, but it can buy “friends.”  If the money is flowing like an oil well gusher, a person can have a lot of friends, but when the money dries up and quits flowing, those “friends” dry up and blow away, like the seeds of a dandelion.  How true the old saying is:  When times are good, your friends know who you are; but when times are bad, you know who your friends are.

Back over 60 years ago, I used to listen to a radio program called “The Halls of Ivy,” which was about the trials and triumphs of the president of a small-town college.  It starred the wonderful Ronald Colman and his real-life wife Benita Hume.  On one of the radio episodes, (broadcast, I believe, on June 25, 1952) a group of people sang a song titled “Fair Weather Friends.”  I still remember the opening two phrases of that song.  I have googled to see if it was a legitimate song or something written for the radio program, but I have not been able to find anything on it.  As I remember, the song was about how worthless fair weather friends – Type 1 in my grouping above – really are.  It was a neat song, and it gave me the concept of friends who will abandon you when the going gets a little rough.

Everyone has at least a few of the “forever” friends.  Hang on to them!  Love them!  Nurture them! Treat them as the invaluable treasures that they are.  You will never regret it; I can guarantee you.

Everyone have a wonderful Holiday Season.  Happy Holidays to all.

Bill

 

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December 15, 2014 - Posted by | Miscellaneous, Religion | , , ,

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